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All rejection is a cry for acceptance

Writer's picture: Paul GotelPaul Gotel

The BIG U 22/10/20




In life when we feel rejection by another it can trigger the most acute defense mechanism, As most of us take the rejection as an attack. And attack of a character, and attack of our being, and attack of what we quite often believe has value and therefore an attack of our worth, or worth to that person.

This can be the most hurtful of experiences and he’s one of the reasons why we shut our selves down at a very early childhood age and then build a defense mechanism throughout our lives to prevent such feelings from rising again , often dismissing those who have projected this on us as not worthy themselves of our friendship or consideration. Leading to us avoiding that person, that place, or that situation to avoid the feeling of not being wanted.


However what I have discovered is that the rejection that we witness outside of ourselves is often a mirror of the rejection that we feel inside ourselves for ourselves. And this is why it is so triggering and yet also an opportunity to look at that in a rejection to look at where we judge ourselves and try and cover up the parts of us that we feel are not acceptable.


The way out of this quandary is beautiful and almost magical and that is when we stop rejecting ourselves when we except all that we are and remove the coverings of ingratiation that we have covered ourselves in , to try to improve ourselves, we start to see the genuine authentic version of ourselves and when we accept that we can open to excepting others in the same way.


This self acceptance leads to a compassion that is able to witness another rejecting us as actually a cry for acceptance, as I have witnessed with my children what they’re really saying is that no matter what do you love me? As love is unconditional they are justified in this test , for they are going through whatever they are going through and they trust you enough to To express the frustration openly and honestly and although it takes the form of rejection what they’re actually asking for is the opposite. They are asking for complete acceptance, as they struggle through their own journey of accepting themselves and so when you do , you will see both yourself and them transform and the divinity between you will be unified in the heart .

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