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We create rejection because we cannot deal with the guilt of choosing freedom.

Many of us after an intimate relationship can feel hurt when we go through a break up , and this pain stays with us as we often tell ourselves a subconscious story of rejection. In order to defend ourselves from feeling this again we protect ourselves by closing our hearts and judging the other as not worthy of our concern.

We see them as the ones at fault for not recognizing our value and even if we tell ourselves that it "wasn't meant to be " we are actually avoiding the real reason we have created this experience. As all experiences they come to us to give us an opportunity to drop our limitations and understand what is reflected in this dynamic.

In this case all rejection is at its root Self rejection, and when we feel exposed in a relationship we become nervous that the aspect of ourselves we most judge will be seen.

In order to avoid this we create a false mask that we feel will be approved of but eventually becomes like a straight jacket restricting ourselves.

The system of defense doesn't work because even though we might gain approval we know it is not for our authentic self and thus it does not land .

We feel upset because despite our best efforts to please someone else we feel trapped, eventually in order to escape this uncomfortable dynamic and gain our freedom we manifest rejection so that we may walk away without feeling guilty.

Yet ultimately we will repeat this pattern until we are willing to drop our Self rejection and realize the reason we have called a relationship to ourselves is to reveal ourselves vulnerably and authentically, for it is only when our hidden self is seen that we recognize our true self value .

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