WHEN WE STOP AVOIDING DISAPPROVAL WE CAN DROP SEEKING SELF APPROVAL AND DISCOVER OUR INHERENT UNIQUE VALUE
Early in life we all learn to avoid the disapproving look of our parents, our siblings, then our teachers. We adopt the actions and behaviors that gain the approval and avoid those that don’t and at first this might seem like a good thing , yet slowly what happens is we leave our authenticity behind replaced by a “people pleasing” mentality that seeks always to fit in and be approved of .
As we get older and move into adulthood we adopt this same mindset for school , college and then work and we start to create a life that is built on exterior success at the cost of our own interior sabotage . Always looking for approval we internalize the previous voice of our authority figures as our own inner judgement system and look each day to achieve at all costs so we may gain self approval.
Ultimately this system that at first seems to work in the “real” world , becomes untenable as this world reflects our disingenuous self and even we when gain it has a bitter taste and has to continuously be replicated daily to stay contented. However at some point we arrive at the conclusion that the cost has been so much more than the payoff and it is time to be courageous and choose a path of vulnerability. We then stop avoiding disapproval and release our need for approval , finally discovering our own unique value that was inherent in our natural state of authentic expression all along .
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